I am sitting here wanting to cry but not because then Ian would want to know why.
I know why.
I just don’t want to say it out loud. But I can write it.
I feel like a failure.
I did 4 weeks of WW without an issue. Then it went pear shaped. But I got back on track. For 2 days. I had reasons for going off track last week. I learned from it.
Not this time. I have no reasons. No excuses. I just keep stuffing my face with food.
I KNOW what I need to do. I KNOW I need to just do it. I KNOW I have to ‘fake it until I make it’. I know my mantra is “IT’S NOT OPTIONAL”. I KNOW with WW I can still have treats and stay on track. I KNOW that I do NOT feel deprived while staying within my points.
I am reading inspiring blogs, watching inspiring TV shows. They just make me feel worse. I remind myself why I want to be slim. I remind myself that I can still have treats within my points. I remind myself of everything I know is true and everything I have advised others.
I took a day off work today. I feel guilty. We need the money and I don’t get paid if I am not there.
I am feeling depressed. There is no reason for that feeling.
I want to hide from the world but there is nowhere to hide.
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2 comments:
Hi Fiona,
This is such a hard journey but you need to find something that inspires you. I have been on and off this journey for almost 3 years and after going off track again over the new year I was feeling lost. Until .... wait for it I saw a picture in the target brochure that caught my attention. I cut out the picture of the lady in the nice clothes and stuck it on my wardrobe. Weird I know but every morning I look at it and say I am going to look like you soon and look way better in that outfit. For some reason it got me and I have not put a foot wrong since.
The thing is no matter how much you want this you have to be ready and when you are ready it will all happen. The main thing is don't give up it will all be worth it. You are worth it!
Posts like this take me bad to those early first weeks of every weight-loss journey I've ever been on. You start with such fire and determination and then... inexplicably... it fizzes out.
I can't tell you what's going to re-ignite that fire for you, but I do know it's in you to get this done. I had good luck in breaking it down to just trying to get through one good day. That's not too much to manage, is it? Start stringing together good days, keep your head down and keep powering forward. It'll seem like a slow slog some days, but before you know it you'll be making great progress.
Good luck.
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