Comfort versus progress

Craig Harper wrote a great blog that arrived in my in box this morning.


His Hypothesis: There is a positive correlation between how uncomfortable an individual is prepared to get and their likelihood of success – irrespective of the field of endeavour


This really hit home with me. I have talked before about how I keep choosing the discomfort of my weight over the discomfort of changing it.


This weekend I had an uncomfortable conversation with Ian. Uncomfortable for me. We talked about my health. He thinks I need to see a new doctor. He believes my current doctor keeps piling on new diagnoses without actually making anything better. I am torn. In some ways he is right. But also I think the diagnoses have been accurate. He thinks I should see another doctor and get a second opinion. Which led me to react with an immediate and telling thought: “a new doctor will just tell me to lose weight and see what improves”.


Please excuse my momentary indulgence while, for my own piece of mind, I review what my doctor has diagnosed and why I think she is or isn’t right. Then I will write about my weight.


PCOS: this was accurate at the time. My blood tests and an ultrasound clearly showed I had a large number of the factors that make up this syndrome. Lately some results have been different so I believe it is currently under control. Maybe I never had it.


COELIAC: this was never actually diagnosed with a biopsy. But it was diagnosed through blood tests. And I get sick when I eat gluten. I sometimes have doubts due to the lack of a biopsy. But nobody else has any doubts (including Ian) and the only way to get a positive biopsy would be to eat gluten for about 1 month then get tested. I don’t think I or my marriage would survive that.


ADD: this one bothers me. I think I do have it but very mildly. I must admit that when I don’t take the medication I feel the diagnosis is accurate. It certainly does improve my stress, anxiety and ability to think. But I am still slightly uncomfortable with the diagnosis.




Symptoms not resolved:
Stress and anxiety - reduced but not resolved. This makes sense. I find out this week if Dad’s cancer is back/spread. Also Ian’s ‘guaranteed 20 hours per week’ turned out to be a lie. This week he has been given 3 days off ON TOP of the Easter break. So money is tight and I don’t deal well with that.
Tiredness – this has been a chronic issue for me. My blood tests were all normal. I am not sure what is causing it other than the stress and anxiety. Oh and my obesity.


Looking at that I don’t think my doctor is doing a bad job.


This brings me back to my weight. How can I keep asking ‘why do I feel like this?’ when I KNOW that my weight is a factor in some areas. I am carrying an extra 25kg above the TOP of my healthy weight range.


Things I KNOW are caused by my obesity:
High blood pressure
Insulin sensitivity
Tiredness
Joint and muscle pain
Hormone imbalances
Anger at myself
Low self esteem

And that doesn’t touch on all the diseases that obese people are at much higher risk of getting.


So while it may appear to me that I am staying ‘comfortable’ by not making an effort to lose weight, my weight is actually causing many discomforts.


Because I have been obese most of my adult life I think I am numbed to how bad it actually makes me physically feel.


And what does this mean?


Quite simply: I need to get off my fat backside and do something about my weight. Being obese is NOT comfortable.


To (probably mis) quote a great saying I have posted before:
Being overweight is hard. Losing weight is hard. Choose your hard.