I am annoyed at myself.
I have lost and gained the same 14kg so many times in the past 12 years that I am bored. I never go higher than 96kg or lower than 82kg.
I am comfortable!
Right now I am 92.something. Not at my highest. Way too comfortable.
I am simply not motivated to put in the effort required to lose weight. I don’t tend to pile on weight quickly when I am ‘off track’ and in fact sometimes lose weight with no ‘effort’.
I know (as per my blog last week) that I will feel so much better at a healthy weight.
But being at this weight doesn’t feel hard, only mildly inconvenient.
Mild inconvenience is not going to get me slim without some other motivation.
But I am having trouble finding it.
I read other peoples stories, I talk to people I know. I love success stories. I know my issues are mere matchsticks compared to the walls some people have had to get through to lose weight. But when I read or hear a story about successful weight loss I think “well I wouldn’t / couldn’t make those sacrifices”. The only success stories that I feel I could do are the ‘eat only when hungry’ ones. But a big part of me feels that that approach won’t actually work.
I know the answers are in me, not in a blog or another person’s success. I am just having trouble finding them.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Answers
I am annoyed at myself.
I have lost and gained the same 14kg so many times in the past 12 years that I am bored. I never go higher than 96kg or lower than 82kg.
I am comfortable!
Right now I am 92.something. Not at my highest. Way too comfortable.
I am simply not motivated to put in the effort required to lose weight. I don’t tend to pile on weight quickly when I am ‘off track’ and in fact sometimes lose weight with no ‘effort’.
I know (as per my blog last week) that I will feel so much better at a healthy weight.
But being at this weight doesn’t feel hard, only mildly inconvenient.
Mild inconvenience is not going to get me slim without some other motivation.
But I am having trouble finding it.
I read other peoples stories, I talk to people I know. I love success stories. I know my issues are mere matchsticks compared to the walls some people have had to get through to lose weight. But when I read or hear a story about successful weight loss I think “well I wouldn’t / couldn’t make those sacrifices”. The only success stories that I feel I could do are the ‘eat only when hungry’ ones. But a big part of me feels that that approach won’t actually work.
I know the answers are in me, not in a blog or another person’s success. I am just having trouble finding them.
I have lost and gained the same 14kg so many times in the past 12 years that I am bored. I never go higher than 96kg or lower than 82kg.
I am comfortable!
Right now I am 92.something. Not at my highest. Way too comfortable.
I am simply not motivated to put in the effort required to lose weight. I don’t tend to pile on weight quickly when I am ‘off track’ and in fact sometimes lose weight with no ‘effort’.
I know (as per my blog last week) that I will feel so much better at a healthy weight.
But being at this weight doesn’t feel hard, only mildly inconvenient.
Mild inconvenience is not going to get me slim without some other motivation.
But I am having trouble finding it.
I read other peoples stories, I talk to people I know. I love success stories. I know my issues are mere matchsticks compared to the walls some people have had to get through to lose weight. But when I read or hear a story about successful weight loss I think “well I wouldn’t / couldn’t make those sacrifices”. The only success stories that I feel I could do are the ‘eat only when hungry’ ones. But a big part of me feels that that approach won’t actually work.
I know the answers are in me, not in a blog or another person’s success. I am just having trouble finding them.
2 comments:
-
Just wrote a post about this...
You are right.
the answer is in you. -
April 15, 2010 at 2:12 PM
-
I agree. I realised this week that I have spent the last 10 years up and down many many times (well, already knew that part) but in the last 2 years, I had a long way to go - physically? Yeah certainly, but most of all mentally and emotionally. I had an addiction to food. I fought through that. I follow my feelings way too much. Working on it. I am lazy, still fighting through that (don't we all... each and every day?) I realised that I have taken 3 steps forward, 2 steps back for two years straight. I think I had about 300 steps to the top. I'm wishing those 2 steps back didn't have to happen, but that's life, hey.
What I also realised this week was that I have reached step #250, which is a metaphor for "almost there, getting a little easier, gradient is not as steep, not falling backwards as fast as before".
Anyway, I'm not explaining it very well. What I mean to say is: TRY HARDER! PUSH through the mess of guilt and frustration because it isn't becoming of you. You are gorgeous, and you are worth it. Spoil yourself for no reason - it helps. I bought myself a new knife (it's actually sharp enough!!! YAY!) a new crock pot and some new clothes for no reason (well, other than I needed them) and it seemed to me like just the therapy I needed! It made me feel important enough to invest in myself. I've been holding out too long, like I hadn't made my goals so I didn't deserve to shop for myself - what a load of shit. I am strong, I work hard, I deserve to make simple purchases when I need to. That helped a whole lot for my mental health.
Figure out what you've been holding back from your own self, and feed that need. Then you'll be more fit to take care of your health and exercise needs.
I'm believing in you ;) -
April 15, 2010 at 11:06 PM
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2 comments:
Just wrote a post about this...
You are right.
the answer is in you.
I agree. I realised this week that I have spent the last 10 years up and down many many times (well, already knew that part) but in the last 2 years, I had a long way to go - physically? Yeah certainly, but most of all mentally and emotionally. I had an addiction to food. I fought through that. I follow my feelings way too much. Working on it. I am lazy, still fighting through that (don't we all... each and every day?) I realised that I have taken 3 steps forward, 2 steps back for two years straight. I think I had about 300 steps to the top. I'm wishing those 2 steps back didn't have to happen, but that's life, hey.
What I also realised this week was that I have reached step #250, which is a metaphor for "almost there, getting a little easier, gradient is not as steep, not falling backwards as fast as before".
Anyway, I'm not explaining it very well. What I mean to say is: TRY HARDER! PUSH through the mess of guilt and frustration because it isn't becoming of you. You are gorgeous, and you are worth it. Spoil yourself for no reason - it helps. I bought myself a new knife (it's actually sharp enough!!! YAY!) a new crock pot and some new clothes for no reason (well, other than I needed them) and it seemed to me like just the therapy I needed! It made me feel important enough to invest in myself. I've been holding out too long, like I hadn't made my goals so I didn't deserve to shop for myself - what a load of shit. I am strong, I work hard, I deserve to make simple purchases when I need to. That helped a whole lot for my mental health.
Figure out what you've been holding back from your own self, and feed that need. Then you'll be more fit to take care of your health and exercise needs.
I'm believing in you ;)
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