My Absence

I think you probably know that for me blogging is very therapeutic.

Some other facts about me include:
• I had a really stressful 2009. Lots of things changed, there has been serious illness and loss in my family, etc, etc. Many of the ‘stressful’ events were not even negative. But for me it was a stressful year.
• I have ADD/ADHD and one of my ‘symptoms’ is a tendency to think that if I am enjoying something then more of that ‘something’ must be better.
• I tend to deal with stress by staying as busy as possible.
• In the past month many of the things that caused last years stress have had great resolutions.
• Life right now is the best it has ever been for me.


You may be wondering why that means I am having a blogging break.


Basically I have been blogging on EP for 3 years. Then earlier this year I started a second blog on blogspot. The blogging itself was not an issue. But I kept trying to follow more and more blogs. I love reading peoples blogs. So I added more and more to my list.


Then with my stress levels suddenly dropping I had what my therapist called a ‘post stress’ situation. It’s like all those people who have their first holiday in ages and then get sick. I did what I needed to do for the past 12 months. Then when I no longer had to ‘keep going’ I was suddenly exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally.


I was not feeling the relief I expected. I felt pretty much nothing. I was suddenly completely lacking in any interest in following WW. I felt empty.


I felt overwhelmed with all the things I enjoyed doing to the point that I started feeling I ‘had’ to do them and they became a burden.


So, on the advice of my therapist, I am having a ‘break’. I am spending time with my family and friends, I am sleeping a lot, I am allowing myself downtime.


I am not reading blogs, or writing them (other than this one LOL), following WW or setting any expectations of when I will get back to doing those things. I am not trying to complete my 13 things to do list.


In fact, I am, for the first time in as long as I can remember, not trying to get anywhere or achieve anything.


I will be honest. My first reaction was ‘Seriously?’ and some panic. I was not sure how I would fill my time without so many things on my ‘to do’ list each day. Evenings with ‘no stimulation’ sounded really scary.


But a week later I am feeling much better. And I can survive evenings with no computer. And I know I have done more at work without reading blogs during the day!

I feel calmer and I can feel myself coming awake again. But I am not there yet.


So I will be absent a little longer.


I will be back. I have not lost my need to be slim. I just need to give myself some time without ‘trying’ to do or be anything.


I probably won’t come back to both EP and blogspot, but I will share the details of whichever one I do go back to.