This may make no sense...

My title was going to be: Parallel Journeys

But I am not even sure anyone else will follow my random ramblings... so I renamed it.

Becoming the best me is a holistic journey.   It is physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

The old way:

In 2008 I got to my goal weight by following weight watchers but without changing my thought processes.  It was actually really easy.  But I didn’t stay at goal.  In fact it took 8 months to lose 54lb and 8 months to put it back on.  I was at goal for about 4 weeks in total.

A few times after that I lost some weight but it always went back on. 

I often went back to weight watchers, but I struggled to make progress for more than a month at a time.

Then in about 2004 I discovered and started changing the subconscious beliefs that were stopping me staying at my best weight.

I spent a lot of time discovering and changing these ideas that had taken hold. 

Then I went back to weight watchers and still struggled to make progress for more than a month at a time.

So I went back to a psychologist and dealt with more issues.

And then I went back to weight watchers and still struggled to make progress for more than a month at a time.

Then I found out I had ADD.  I was put on ADD medication and also had more therapy.  I learned more about myself than I ever had before.

And then I went back to weight watchers and still struggled to make progress for more than a month at a time.

In between weight watchers attempts I also tried a variety of other weight loss methods (excluding crash diets!).  None succeeded.

The new way:

In the past few months my approach has changed quite a bit.

It needed to.

I had to change some more beliefs. 

Just because weight watchers got me to my goal weight once 12 years ago does not mean it is the way I will get to my healthy weight and stay there.  Just because ‘eating when hungry’ seems too simple does not mean it doesn’t work.  Just because my weight loss is more slow than steady does not mean I will not reach goal faster than sticking to a ‘plan’ for a month then feeling like garbage for not sticking to it for the next 11 months.  If it takes 11 years that is success given I have not got there trying other methods in the past 12 years.

I do not have to sort out one part of ‘me’ at a time.  I can lose weight, get strong, discover my artistic side, consider career options, discover new friends, rediscover old friends, read self help books, and change hair styles all in parallel. 

This may mean that this week I move forward more in one area than another.  But next week that might change again.  It might mean that today I am busy at work and don’t really improve anything expect my overtime.  And that is ok.

I have identified 2 non negotiables for now:  daily breakfast and 3 times per week floor work.

These will be added to over time.  When I am ready for the next step. 

This is my life.  I choose the path I take on any given day.  This is not a race. 

Because even as I am right now, today, I am ok.  If nothing changes I am still a good person.  Some people even like me just the way I am.  They won’t like me any more or less if I am slim or fit or a painter or a runner.