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"You can have the results you say you want, or you can have all the reasons in the world why you can’t have them. But you can’t have both. Reasons or results. You get to choose."


Susan Carlson

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Baby Step #1

I know… I was ba-ack and then I wasn’t.


I didn’t stick to WW for even the rest of that day. So I deleted the post.


I am really worried about my Dad, but we won’t know until next week if there is even anything to be worried about. I don’t really know what to feel. Worry about what may or may not happen? Optimism? Pessimism? Realism?


Anyway, I am eating my emotions. I know I should deal with my emotions instead, but I am finding it tough. I feel like if I let go I may not be able to get back together again.


So instead of jumping back in the deep end I am going to go back to baby steps. This has worked for me in the past. Succeeding in a ‘baby step’ gives me the feeling that I can do this, that I can succeed in the next steps.


So baby step number 1:


Floor work 3 times a week


I have chosen this as it has no impact on my emotions, gets me back into a routine, and of course benefits my hip which has been really sore the past couple of weeks.


When I feel I am on top of step #1 I will add step #2.

I have read a few of your posts this week, but not been leaving comments.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Touching Base

Hi,
Just letting you know I am still ok.
Thinking about returning to blogging..  but nothing to say yet...  and also still trying to work out how to read less blogs when I do return...
Went to WW yesterday and had a 0.3kg gain.  I can live with that.
Have not started counting points again yet.

Hope you are all doing well.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My Absence

I think you probably know that for me blogging is very therapeutic.

Some other facts about me include:
• I had a really stressful 2009. Lots of things changed, there has been serious illness and loss in my family, etc, etc. Many of the ‘stressful’ events were not even negative. But for me it was a stressful year.
• I have ADD/ADHD and one of my ‘symptoms’ is a tendency to think that if I am enjoying something then more of that ‘something’ must be better.
• I tend to deal with stress by staying as busy as possible.
• In the past month many of the things that caused last years stress have had great resolutions.
• Life right now is the best it has ever been for me.


You may be wondering why that means I am having a blogging break.


Basically I have been blogging on EP for 3 years. Then earlier this year I started a second blog on blogspot. The blogging itself was not an issue. But I kept trying to follow more and more blogs. I love reading peoples blogs. So I added more and more to my list.


Then with my stress levels suddenly dropping I had what my therapist called a ‘post stress’ situation. It’s like all those people who have their first holiday in ages and then get sick. I did what I needed to do for the past 12 months. Then when I no longer had to ‘keep going’ I was suddenly exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally.


I was not feeling the relief I expected. I felt pretty much nothing. I was suddenly completely lacking in any interest in following WW. I felt empty.


I felt overwhelmed with all the things I enjoyed doing to the point that I started feeling I ‘had’ to do them and they became a burden.


So, on the advice of my therapist, I am having a ‘break’. I am spending time with my family and friends, I am sleeping a lot, I am allowing myself downtime.


I am not reading blogs, or writing them (other than this one LOL), following WW or setting any expectations of when I will get back to doing those things. I am not trying to complete my 13 things to do list.


In fact, I am, for the first time in as long as I can remember, not trying to get anywhere or achieve anything.


I will be honest. My first reaction was ‘Seriously?’ and some panic. I was not sure how I would fill my time without so many things on my ‘to do’ list each day. Evenings with ‘no stimulation’ sounded really scary.


But a week later I am feeling much better. And I can survive evenings with no computer. And I know I have done more at work without reading blogs during the day!

I feel calmer and I can feel myself coming awake again. But I am not there yet.


So I will be absent a little longer.


I will be back. I have not lost my need to be slim. I just need to give myself some time without ‘trying’ to do or be anything.


I probably won’t come back to both EP and blogspot, but I will share the details of whichever one I do go back to.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

In case you wonder where I am....

Long story that I won't go into, except to say that life is fabulous right now. I have no major issues or concerns.


But I have been advised to take a break from my online weight loss communities.


This is going to be really tough for me, but I agree with the advice and the reasons for it.


It may be only a day, a week or longer.


My thoughts will be with you however long it is.


My guess is not as long as my advisor would like cos I will really miss you guys!

Exercise

Going to focus on the good stuff today.

Until Saturday I was doing 'girly knee pushups'.  It is odd as I don't do my planks on my knees...  but my arms are not very strong.

On Friday I watched the Australian Biggest Loser Masterclass (more about that in a moment) and Shannon said that you are better off doing them with your arms on a raised object and not on your knees as they are still easier but your core is engaged.

So Saturday and last night I did my pushups with my hands on the base of an armchair (about 20cm from the floor).  They work me so much harder!  But I can still do the same reps I was doing...  on my way to my 100 pushup goal.  When I get to 100 I might try starting again with proper on the floor pushups.. we will see..

Anyway...  this season of Australian TBL has had a change of focus.  On Mondays show there is a training session from an 'expert' and on Fridays there is a 'masterclass' which is totally focussed on health, food and exercise outside of the TBL show.  I have learned so much from this series.

I learned simple changes in my body position that make running easier (dodgy hip aside!)
I learned how to maximise my push up workout even though I am not strong enough for full ones.
I learned about the importance of believing you can do what you set out to do.
I learned some extra core exercises that I have added to my floor work.

I watch the show for the politics and drama...  and cos I am a total sucker for 'before and after' scenarios.  I am getting more than I expected from this series.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Week 1 Day 3 Floor work



Black is done, grey is to be done this week.
I didn't increase some reps tonight as muscles still sore from Saturday.

The thing is....

.... I think I know what happened yesterday... but is it an excuse... or a learning opportunity...  or both...  or neither?


I am still on track with exercise.


But not yet back on track with eating.  Not far off track as I ate all my treats yesterday and have not purchased more...  but not eating 'intentionally' on plan.


Yesterday I forgot my concerta.  Is that why I had less impulse control?  I don't know.  But it has happened before that no concerta means going off track.  In my work bag I actually have 'spares' so I can take them after I leave the house if needed.  I don't use my work bag on Sunday.  And I can't take them too late in the day or I can't sleep.


So knowing that, and having taken today's dose, I really should have been back on track.


It's now 9:10pm and I plan no further eating tonight.


Tomorrow is a new day.  A day when I will take my concerta. 


Tomorrow is my final painting class of this term.


Tomorrow I have an appointment with my therapist.


Tomorrow is the day TOM is due.


Tomorrow may or may not be the day I get back on track (given I will be away Thursday/Friday for my Uncle's funeral) but it is certainly a day I will be thinking about it.


Tomorrow is one day closer to me being at goal.  Because regardless of whether I get back on plan tomorrow or Saturday or next month, I WILL get back on plan and I WILL get to goal.  Of those two facts I have no doubts at all.


And that is my honesty and accountability post for today.


Thanks to those who gave me such wonderfully supportive comments.


((hugs))

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Week 1 Day 2 - Honesty and accountability

I wasn't going to blog.  I am ashamed.


Then I thought about honesty and accountability.


I lost it completely today.


Day 2 of my 8 weeks.


No excuses.  I was tempted and resisted...  and then gave in and ate later on.  I have not eaten massive amounts.  But I have eaten without counting points or wanting to stick to my points.


I don't know what is wrong with me that I can go from 150% motivated to zero in minutes.


I apologise to myself.  Making and breaking commitments is not something I would ever do to anyone else.  But I do it to myself a lot.

Week 1 Day 1

Followed WW
(I have accidentally gone slightly over my points, not sure what went wrong with my earlier calculation.  I think I did not include my dinner!  I thought I had heaps of points left so had 2 biscuits when my Mum visited to simply use some up!!)


Breakfast:
Go Natural Bar (4.5 points)


Lunch:
Did not eat, got news about Uncle and simply forgot


Dinner:
Thai beef mango salad (4 points beef instead of 3, total 6 points)


Snacks:
Rocky Road (2.5 points)
2 x curly wurly (5 points)
Gluten free chocolate muffin (4.5 points)
2 x d'lish biscuits
total 26.5 (allowed 25)


Floor work 
done (1/3 for the week, black is done, grey is planned)


























Cardio 
tomorrow

General


I had some bad news (my Uncle passed away last night) but I refuse to use that as an excuse to go off plan.


He was morbidly obese, a smoker and a heavy drinker.


He was 71.


When my time comes I do not want it to be because of something I could have prevented by looking after myself better.


When we find out when the funeral is I will plan a flight to Queensland for the funeral.  It may be just a day trip if dates and times work out.  


I have coeliac disease so cannot eat gluten.  Given how difficult that can make feeding me (especially if people are not very familiar with a gluten free diet), and in this particular situation with a death in the family, I feel it is not appropriate to be fussy about the point value of what is available.  My plan is simply to do the absolute best I can with what is served for however long I am with my relatives.  I will save points between now and then to give wiggle room, and exercise as much as practical to give some bonus points, but in the end just do what I can.  Is that a cop out or a reasonable approach?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Before Photo Winner!

Ok, I have some bad photos... but if I ever need a 'before' photo this would win - even though I am not at my heaviest here!

This is last weekend on the dolphin cruise.

And I know that wetsuits are not flattering... but still!

Luckily...

Today is the start of my 8 week commitment.


I put on 0.8kg in the past 2 weeks, taking me back over 90kg.


But my determination to do this is strong!


By next Saturday I will be under 90kg again.


I will be under 80kg before my step brother!  (I have an 8kg head start, but he loses faster!)


I will be able to wear gorgeous clothes by the end of the year.


I will feel and look fabulous.


I will!

Friday, March 5, 2010

PS


You do know that I only do the floor work so I can have a strong hip and go back to running?
I hate doing it, but want the reward of completing my C25K program!

BMI

BMI is an interesting thing.

My step brother (who has lost well over 40kg in the past 18 months) and I were discussing our weight loss journeys today on the train.  (In short sentences as he is not a fan of these conversations especially on a public train!)

He is now under 100kg.  And his next milestone is 94.something which will be a BMI of 30 and he will be 'overweight' rather than 'obese'.

My BMI of 30 is at just under 78kg.  I am excited at the thought of being 'overweight'.  My SB is upset that he has worked so hard to become 'overweight'.

Very different perspectives.

While talking about my SB...  I have a confession...  he is currently only about 8kg heavier than I am...  and about 8 inches taller.  He has always been heavier than me.  It gives me a little spurt of motivation....  I figure his goal will be around 80kg (he is about 5"11) so if I get below that before he does I will be 'safe'. 

I will take whatever motivation I can get!  A little rivalry takes nothing away from how proud I am that he has taken control of his eating the way he has!  He did his first (but not last) triathalon on Sunday.  Yep, I am a proud older sister!

My Floor Work

Hi,

Somebody asked what floor work I do and where. Firstly I was so excited to be asked a question about what I do! Thank you!

I do it at home, with just a yoga mat as equipment. My cat does like to 'help' and I am sure the giggles work out my stomach muscles a little :P

The work out started with core strengthening my physio prescribed, then I added the situp and pushup challenges and a couple of extra core exercises (which I don't know the name of!)

What I do is (I try to increase the reps each session):
  • pelvic tilts
  • lying leg lifts (core engaged)
  • prone leg lifts (core engaged)
  • 5 x 30 sec planks
  • 5 x 30 second side planks (each side)
  • bridges
  • 200 sit up challenge (see http://www.twohundredsitups.com/)
  • 100 push up challenge (see http://www.hundredpushups.com/)
  • And a couple of other floor exercises I don't know the name of!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

OK.... I do want to lose weight after all...

Just before it started to get dark, I made my way to the beach.  I sat a little off the main beach on a wall looking over the bay with the city in the background.

I knew I didn't need long, just a few minutes to really focus.


I DO want to lose weight more than I want to stop doing WW.  After all my weight restricts me in ways I really dislike.  WW barely restricts me at all.

So I asked myself what I was willing to commit to in order to lose weight.

And I decided the following:

For the next 8 weeks I will
  • Follow WW
  • Do 30 minutes of cardio 3 times each week (can be bike, treadmill, walk outside etc - but no jogging)
  • Do floor work (includes core) 3 times each week

After 8 weeks I am giving myself the OPTION of having a week of not counting points but still making sensible choices.  I will only do this if I really feel the need for a week of not counting AND I feel 150% confident that I will get back to WW after 1 week.

So WI Saturday and that starts my 8 weeks of being 100% on track.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wednesday

Today kind of has to be better, right?

This mornings train trip was uneventful - I even got to chat to my step brother who sometimes gets on the same train as me in the morning.

Today I get my blood test results and I kind of hope there is a 'reason' I feel so lethargic.  Other than obesity.  Other than lack of exercise.

Last night I really enjoyed my second last class in 'beginners painting'.  So much that I signed up for 'Beginners painting - the next step' for next semester.

Tonight my step sister is coming to stay as we are having a day spa visit tomorrow morning.  I got a voucher for her for Christmas, but made it for two people and told her the 'other' had to be me :p

An uneventful day sandwiched between my painting class and a day spa day should have me feeling great.

But I feel blah.

Tomorrow afternoon I am scheduling some time for me to just think.

I will think about where my determination to stick to WW went.
I will think about what I want my life to look like in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years.
I will think about how my day to day decisions reflect (or don't) those visions.
I will think about what changes I need to make to head closer to those visions.
I might do a 'wheel of life' exercise

Then I better do some housework...

...although I really want to try again with the flowers in a vase painting.

♥♥♥

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Life is too short....

I was on a train this morning that hit and killed a woman who tried to cross the tracks even though the lights and barriers were down.


(http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/woman-killed-by-train-after-ducking-boom-gate-20100302-pe79.html)

It has pretty much wiped anything else from my head.

What was so important to her that she was willing to run across the railway tracks? 
Did she have family who are now without a wife/mother/sister/daughter?
Did someone at her work criticise her for being late today and now feel guilt?
Will the train driver recover from the trauma?

Will the altered perspective I have today last more than a few hours?

Because, right now, a lot of my very trivial concerns seem really unimportant.

Life is too short.

Monday, March 1, 2010

What tempts you?

I was responding to a post on WW when I realised something.


I don't go 'off track' because I am craving cake or chocolate or any specific food.


I am following WW, no food is banned. I have a generous points allowance and can fit a generous number of 'treats' in my day and week. I never feel deprived on WW.


What I crave is being 'off track'. I crave not counting points and weighing food and finding and choosing gluten free low point options. I crave not thinking about losing weight.


So I can sit here with 22 of my 26 point daily allowance still to be eaten and argue with myself about going off track. With 22 points I can eat 170gm of a cadbury's chocolate block. That is a large amount. So I can easily eat say 100gm (13 points) and still have 9 for lunch and dinner (my fave dinner is 5 points). There is NO reason to want to go off track.


But I want to.


When you want to go off track is it because of a specific food or just because you want to be 'off track'? 

(I think I will add a poll if I can work out how!)

Over Analysing

Not sure what to post today.


I am bored with saying 'I am back on track'.  This will be the 5th time in 5 weeks I have gone 'back on track'.
I am over thinking I need to tweak my approach.  I don't.  I just need to stick to my approach.


So what about some numbers instead.


Overall


I am on week 9, day 3 (or day 66) since I began this leg of my journey
I have been on plan 80% of the time (53 of 66 days)
I have lost 4.9 kg.


Weekly


week 1 - 7 days on track, lost 1.2kg
week 2 - 7 days on track, lost 0.6kg
week 3 - 7 days on track, lost 0.4kg (dropped down 1 point)
week 4 - 7 days on track, lost 0.9kg (started C25K)


Summary: 3.1kg lost, 28/28 days on track, avg weekly loss 0.8kg. 2 weeks on 26 points, 2 weeks on 25 points. Minimal exercise 3 weeks, C25k 3 times in 4th week.


week 5 - 3 days on track, gained 0.5kg
week 6 - 2 days on track, no WI
week 7 - 7 days on track, lost 2.3kg (2 weeks loss, C25K again)
week 8 - 5 days on track, no WI


Summary: 1.8kg lost, 17/28 days on track, avg weekly loss 0.5kg. 4 weeks on 25 points. Core work 3 times per week, C25K once per week.


week 9 - 1 out of 3 days on track so far

And what do my numbers say?

That I need to start being more consistent for the numbers to be able to speak.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Baby Step #1

I know… I was ba-ack and then I wasn’t.


I didn’t stick to WW for even the rest of that day. So I deleted the post.


I am really worried about my Dad, but we won’t know until next week if there is even anything to be worried about. I don’t really know what to feel. Worry about what may or may not happen? Optimism? Pessimism? Realism?


Anyway, I am eating my emotions. I know I should deal with my emotions instead, but I am finding it tough. I feel like if I let go I may not be able to get back together again.


So instead of jumping back in the deep end I am going to go back to baby steps. This has worked for me in the past. Succeeding in a ‘baby step’ gives me the feeling that I can do this, that I can succeed in the next steps.


So baby step number 1:


Floor work 3 times a week


I have chosen this as it has no impact on my emotions, gets me back into a routine, and of course benefits my hip which has been really sore the past couple of weeks.


When I feel I am on top of step #1 I will add step #2.

I have read a few of your posts this week, but not been leaving comments.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Touching Base

Hi,
Just letting you know I am still ok.
Thinking about returning to blogging..  but nothing to say yet...  and also still trying to work out how to read less blogs when I do return...
Went to WW yesterday and had a 0.3kg gain.  I can live with that.
Have not started counting points again yet.

Hope you are all doing well.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My Absence

I think you probably know that for me blogging is very therapeutic.

Some other facts about me include:
• I had a really stressful 2009. Lots of things changed, there has been serious illness and loss in my family, etc, etc. Many of the ‘stressful’ events were not even negative. But for me it was a stressful year.
• I have ADD/ADHD and one of my ‘symptoms’ is a tendency to think that if I am enjoying something then more of that ‘something’ must be better.
• I tend to deal with stress by staying as busy as possible.
• In the past month many of the things that caused last years stress have had great resolutions.
• Life right now is the best it has ever been for me.


You may be wondering why that means I am having a blogging break.


Basically I have been blogging on EP for 3 years. Then earlier this year I started a second blog on blogspot. The blogging itself was not an issue. But I kept trying to follow more and more blogs. I love reading peoples blogs. So I added more and more to my list.


Then with my stress levels suddenly dropping I had what my therapist called a ‘post stress’ situation. It’s like all those people who have their first holiday in ages and then get sick. I did what I needed to do for the past 12 months. Then when I no longer had to ‘keep going’ I was suddenly exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally.


I was not feeling the relief I expected. I felt pretty much nothing. I was suddenly completely lacking in any interest in following WW. I felt empty.


I felt overwhelmed with all the things I enjoyed doing to the point that I started feeling I ‘had’ to do them and they became a burden.


So, on the advice of my therapist, I am having a ‘break’. I am spending time with my family and friends, I am sleeping a lot, I am allowing myself downtime.


I am not reading blogs, or writing them (other than this one LOL), following WW or setting any expectations of when I will get back to doing those things. I am not trying to complete my 13 things to do list.


In fact, I am, for the first time in as long as I can remember, not trying to get anywhere or achieve anything.


I will be honest. My first reaction was ‘Seriously?’ and some panic. I was not sure how I would fill my time without so many things on my ‘to do’ list each day. Evenings with ‘no stimulation’ sounded really scary.


But a week later I am feeling much better. And I can survive evenings with no computer. And I know I have done more at work without reading blogs during the day!

I feel calmer and I can feel myself coming awake again. But I am not there yet.


So I will be absent a little longer.


I will be back. I have not lost my need to be slim. I just need to give myself some time without ‘trying’ to do or be anything.


I probably won’t come back to both EP and blogspot, but I will share the details of whichever one I do go back to.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

In case you wonder where I am....

Long story that I won't go into, except to say that life is fabulous right now. I have no major issues or concerns.


But I have been advised to take a break from my online weight loss communities.


This is going to be really tough for me, but I agree with the advice and the reasons for it.


It may be only a day, a week or longer.


My thoughts will be with you however long it is.


My guess is not as long as my advisor would like cos I will really miss you guys!

Exercise

Going to focus on the good stuff today.

Until Saturday I was doing 'girly knee pushups'.  It is odd as I don't do my planks on my knees...  but my arms are not very strong.

On Friday I watched the Australian Biggest Loser Masterclass (more about that in a moment) and Shannon said that you are better off doing them with your arms on a raised object and not on your knees as they are still easier but your core is engaged.

So Saturday and last night I did my pushups with my hands on the base of an armchair (about 20cm from the floor).  They work me so much harder!  But I can still do the same reps I was doing...  on my way to my 100 pushup goal.  When I get to 100 I might try starting again with proper on the floor pushups.. we will see..

Anyway...  this season of Australian TBL has had a change of focus.  On Mondays show there is a training session from an 'expert' and on Fridays there is a 'masterclass' which is totally focussed on health, food and exercise outside of the TBL show.  I have learned so much from this series.

I learned simple changes in my body position that make running easier (dodgy hip aside!)
I learned how to maximise my push up workout even though I am not strong enough for full ones.
I learned about the importance of believing you can do what you set out to do.
I learned some extra core exercises that I have added to my floor work.

I watch the show for the politics and drama...  and cos I am a total sucker for 'before and after' scenarios.  I am getting more than I expected from this series.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Week 1 Day 3 Floor work



Black is done, grey is to be done this week.
I didn't increase some reps tonight as muscles still sore from Saturday.

The thing is....

.... I think I know what happened yesterday... but is it an excuse... or a learning opportunity...  or both...  or neither?


I am still on track with exercise.


But not yet back on track with eating.  Not far off track as I ate all my treats yesterday and have not purchased more...  but not eating 'intentionally' on plan.


Yesterday I forgot my concerta.  Is that why I had less impulse control?  I don't know.  But it has happened before that no concerta means going off track.  In my work bag I actually have 'spares' so I can take them after I leave the house if needed.  I don't use my work bag on Sunday.  And I can't take them too late in the day or I can't sleep.


So knowing that, and having taken today's dose, I really should have been back on track.


It's now 9:10pm and I plan no further eating tonight.


Tomorrow is a new day.  A day when I will take my concerta. 


Tomorrow is my final painting class of this term.


Tomorrow I have an appointment with my therapist.


Tomorrow is the day TOM is due.


Tomorrow may or may not be the day I get back on track (given I will be away Thursday/Friday for my Uncle's funeral) but it is certainly a day I will be thinking about it.


Tomorrow is one day closer to me being at goal.  Because regardless of whether I get back on plan tomorrow or Saturday or next month, I WILL get back on plan and I WILL get to goal.  Of those two facts I have no doubts at all.


And that is my honesty and accountability post for today.


Thanks to those who gave me such wonderfully supportive comments.


((hugs))

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Week 1 Day 2 - Honesty and accountability

I wasn't going to blog.  I am ashamed.


Then I thought about honesty and accountability.


I lost it completely today.


Day 2 of my 8 weeks.


No excuses.  I was tempted and resisted...  and then gave in and ate later on.  I have not eaten massive amounts.  But I have eaten without counting points or wanting to stick to my points.


I don't know what is wrong with me that I can go from 150% motivated to zero in minutes.


I apologise to myself.  Making and breaking commitments is not something I would ever do to anyone else.  But I do it to myself a lot.

Week 1 Day 1

Followed WW
(I have accidentally gone slightly over my points, not sure what went wrong with my earlier calculation.  I think I did not include my dinner!  I thought I had heaps of points left so had 2 biscuits when my Mum visited to simply use some up!!)


Breakfast:
Go Natural Bar (4.5 points)


Lunch:
Did not eat, got news about Uncle and simply forgot


Dinner:
Thai beef mango salad (4 points beef instead of 3, total 6 points)


Snacks:
Rocky Road (2.5 points)
2 x curly wurly (5 points)
Gluten free chocolate muffin (4.5 points)
2 x d'lish biscuits
total 26.5 (allowed 25)


Floor work 
done (1/3 for the week, black is done, grey is planned)


























Cardio 
tomorrow

General


I had some bad news (my Uncle passed away last night) but I refuse to use that as an excuse to go off plan.


He was morbidly obese, a smoker and a heavy drinker.


He was 71.


When my time comes I do not want it to be because of something I could have prevented by looking after myself better.


When we find out when the funeral is I will plan a flight to Queensland for the funeral.  It may be just a day trip if dates and times work out.  


I have coeliac disease so cannot eat gluten.  Given how difficult that can make feeding me (especially if people are not very familiar with a gluten free diet), and in this particular situation with a death in the family, I feel it is not appropriate to be fussy about the point value of what is available.  My plan is simply to do the absolute best I can with what is served for however long I am with my relatives.  I will save points between now and then to give wiggle room, and exercise as much as practical to give some bonus points, but in the end just do what I can.  Is that a cop out or a reasonable approach?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Before Photo Winner!

Ok, I have some bad photos... but if I ever need a 'before' photo this would win - even though I am not at my heaviest here!

This is last weekend on the dolphin cruise.

And I know that wetsuits are not flattering... but still!

Luckily...

Today is the start of my 8 week commitment.


I put on 0.8kg in the past 2 weeks, taking me back over 90kg.


But my determination to do this is strong!


By next Saturday I will be under 90kg again.


I will be under 80kg before my step brother!  (I have an 8kg head start, but he loses faster!)


I will be able to wear gorgeous clothes by the end of the year.


I will feel and look fabulous.


I will!

Friday, March 5, 2010

PS


You do know that I only do the floor work so I can have a strong hip and go back to running?
I hate doing it, but want the reward of completing my C25K program!

BMI

BMI is an interesting thing.

My step brother (who has lost well over 40kg in the past 18 months) and I were discussing our weight loss journeys today on the train.  (In short sentences as he is not a fan of these conversations especially on a public train!)

He is now under 100kg.  And his next milestone is 94.something which will be a BMI of 30 and he will be 'overweight' rather than 'obese'.

My BMI of 30 is at just under 78kg.  I am excited at the thought of being 'overweight'.  My SB is upset that he has worked so hard to become 'overweight'.

Very different perspectives.

While talking about my SB...  I have a confession...  he is currently only about 8kg heavier than I am...  and about 8 inches taller.  He has always been heavier than me.  It gives me a little spurt of motivation....  I figure his goal will be around 80kg (he is about 5"11) so if I get below that before he does I will be 'safe'. 

I will take whatever motivation I can get!  A little rivalry takes nothing away from how proud I am that he has taken control of his eating the way he has!  He did his first (but not last) triathalon on Sunday.  Yep, I am a proud older sister!

My Floor Work

Hi,

Somebody asked what floor work I do and where. Firstly I was so excited to be asked a question about what I do! Thank you!

I do it at home, with just a yoga mat as equipment. My cat does like to 'help' and I am sure the giggles work out my stomach muscles a little :P

The work out started with core strengthening my physio prescribed, then I added the situp and pushup challenges and a couple of extra core exercises (which I don't know the name of!)

What I do is (I try to increase the reps each session):
  • pelvic tilts
  • lying leg lifts (core engaged)
  • prone leg lifts (core engaged)
  • 5 x 30 sec planks
  • 5 x 30 second side planks (each side)
  • bridges
  • 200 sit up challenge (see http://www.twohundredsitups.com/)
  • 100 push up challenge (see http://www.hundredpushups.com/)
  • And a couple of other floor exercises I don't know the name of!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

OK.... I do want to lose weight after all...

Just before it started to get dark, I made my way to the beach.  I sat a little off the main beach on a wall looking over the bay with the city in the background.

I knew I didn't need long, just a few minutes to really focus.


I DO want to lose weight more than I want to stop doing WW.  After all my weight restricts me in ways I really dislike.  WW barely restricts me at all.

So I asked myself what I was willing to commit to in order to lose weight.

And I decided the following:

For the next 8 weeks I will
  • Follow WW
  • Do 30 minutes of cardio 3 times each week (can be bike, treadmill, walk outside etc - but no jogging)
  • Do floor work (includes core) 3 times each week

After 8 weeks I am giving myself the OPTION of having a week of not counting points but still making sensible choices.  I will only do this if I really feel the need for a week of not counting AND I feel 150% confident that I will get back to WW after 1 week.

So WI Saturday and that starts my 8 weeks of being 100% on track.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wednesday

Today kind of has to be better, right?

This mornings train trip was uneventful - I even got to chat to my step brother who sometimes gets on the same train as me in the morning.

Today I get my blood test results and I kind of hope there is a 'reason' I feel so lethargic.  Other than obesity.  Other than lack of exercise.

Last night I really enjoyed my second last class in 'beginners painting'.  So much that I signed up for 'Beginners painting - the next step' for next semester.

Tonight my step sister is coming to stay as we are having a day spa visit tomorrow morning.  I got a voucher for her for Christmas, but made it for two people and told her the 'other' had to be me :p

An uneventful day sandwiched between my painting class and a day spa day should have me feeling great.

But I feel blah.

Tomorrow afternoon I am scheduling some time for me to just think.

I will think about where my determination to stick to WW went.
I will think about what I want my life to look like in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years.
I will think about how my day to day decisions reflect (or don't) those visions.
I will think about what changes I need to make to head closer to those visions.
I might do a 'wheel of life' exercise

Then I better do some housework...

...although I really want to try again with the flowers in a vase painting.

♥♥♥

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Life is too short....

I was on a train this morning that hit and killed a woman who tried to cross the tracks even though the lights and barriers were down.


(http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/woman-killed-by-train-after-ducking-boom-gate-20100302-pe79.html)

It has pretty much wiped anything else from my head.

What was so important to her that she was willing to run across the railway tracks? 
Did she have family who are now without a wife/mother/sister/daughter?
Did someone at her work criticise her for being late today and now feel guilt?
Will the train driver recover from the trauma?

Will the altered perspective I have today last more than a few hours?

Because, right now, a lot of my very trivial concerns seem really unimportant.

Life is too short.

Monday, March 1, 2010

What tempts you?

I was responding to a post on WW when I realised something.


I don't go 'off track' because I am craving cake or chocolate or any specific food.


I am following WW, no food is banned. I have a generous points allowance and can fit a generous number of 'treats' in my day and week. I never feel deprived on WW.


What I crave is being 'off track'. I crave not counting points and weighing food and finding and choosing gluten free low point options. I crave not thinking about losing weight.


So I can sit here with 22 of my 26 point daily allowance still to be eaten and argue with myself about going off track. With 22 points I can eat 170gm of a cadbury's chocolate block. That is a large amount. So I can easily eat say 100gm (13 points) and still have 9 for lunch and dinner (my fave dinner is 5 points). There is NO reason to want to go off track.


But I want to.


When you want to go off track is it because of a specific food or just because you want to be 'off track'? 

(I think I will add a poll if I can work out how!)

Over Analysing

Not sure what to post today.


I am bored with saying 'I am back on track'.  This will be the 5th time in 5 weeks I have gone 'back on track'.
I am over thinking I need to tweak my approach.  I don't.  I just need to stick to my approach.


So what about some numbers instead.


Overall


I am on week 9, day 3 (or day 66) since I began this leg of my journey
I have been on plan 80% of the time (53 of 66 days)
I have lost 4.9 kg.


Weekly


week 1 - 7 days on track, lost 1.2kg
week 2 - 7 days on track, lost 0.6kg
week 3 - 7 days on track, lost 0.4kg (dropped down 1 point)
week 4 - 7 days on track, lost 0.9kg (started C25K)


Summary: 3.1kg lost, 28/28 days on track, avg weekly loss 0.8kg. 2 weeks on 26 points, 2 weeks on 25 points. Minimal exercise 3 weeks, C25k 3 times in 4th week.


week 5 - 3 days on track, gained 0.5kg
week 6 - 2 days on track, no WI
week 7 - 7 days on track, lost 2.3kg (2 weeks loss, C25K again)
week 8 - 5 days on track, no WI


Summary: 1.8kg lost, 17/28 days on track, avg weekly loss 0.5kg. 4 weeks on 25 points. Core work 3 times per week, C25K once per week.


week 9 - 1 out of 3 days on track so far

And what do my numbers say?

That I need to start being more consistent for the numbers to be able to speak.